Simple Gestures, Big Positive Impact on Relationship

For better, for worse, til death do us part, insyaAllah. The fact is, there's no deadline in a marriage, you can't go into it thinking that if it doesn't work, there'll always be an exit. There's an exit but that should be your last choice after you have tried your best and nothing but the best. Relationship needs efforts, collective efforts from both parties to make it interesting, working, exciting. We don't need to play it big all the time, treating your partner with expensive dinners, gifts, vacations, etc. I don't say I don't welcome that but relationship is life and life has 24-hours a day, 365 days a year and it has many number of years. Appreciating one another everyday would bring us closer together than expensive gifts and treats we receive a few times a year. Let's practice giving our partners simple gestures in our daily lives and tell them we do care.   


Women Are Not Born With Superpowers
If you think that it's natural for a wife to cook, to take care of you and your children, to wash and iron clothes of the entire family, to clean the house, to provide you sex while looking gorgeous at the same time and maintain great relationship with your entire family, you need help. I don't say that we cease to do all that but we are not born superhumans equipped with superpowers. While we could do some or all of the above, we need you to notice our efforts. Simple gestures such as thank you is very much appreciated. My husband never forget to say thank you after a meal is served or a coffee is made for him, that makes me feel good. Or better still, you could train yourself to say "Anything I could help you with?". Repeat after me.. "Anything...


Yes I Do... This, And You Do... That
We share our lives and a house together so we should somehow share our chores, shouldn't we? Do not make your spouse resent you because you let her do all the chores by herself. Right after the wedding, many wives want to impress their husbands by wanting to do everything. See, I'm your perfect choice. Wait 2-3 years, they gonna resent you thinking you are a jerk who doesn't help.  Split the tasks earlier on to make sure you know your responsibilities. Sometimes husbands want to help but don't know how and don't want to ask.How about.. meals, laundry, child - wife, clean house, toilet, take out trash - husband. And please wifey, don't look when your husband is doing the chores. Your husbands might not do it right but at the end of the day, you want the job done. An extra set of hands is gold.


It's Never Funny To Mock Your Honey
I have heard a lot of stories where one tease leads to a slight mockery which then balloons to downright rude remarks. Don't start disrespecting your spouse by saying something not nice about him or her. "You'd never fit an M. Look at your big ass." That kinda talking must not leave your mouth at all. Don't joke about his/her body, appearance, it's just tasteless. Since the day I said yes to marrying him, my husband never once makes me feel miserable about myself. Seriously. He knows that I have my own mirror so I don't need convincing in that area. And please refrain yourself from undermining your spouse in public, it just makes you look like an inconsiderate idiot. 


Caressing Is Caring
Don't underestimate the power of touching. It's soothing, it's love, it's comforting. We spend a lot of times in front of the television and it doesn't hurt to hold your spouse's hands or caressing him/her. Simple touch conveys overwhelming love than a basket of flowers. And it goes both ways. A nice foot massage from a hubby is a nice way to say thank you for a nice dinner you cook. You don't need to be a masseur, a nice rub on the sole is sufficient. 


Ignore the How, Just Enjoy It
A lot of people concern about the process of doing than the result of what's been done. For me, the process should be inside a black box. As long as I get the things done, that's what matter.  My husband wants his clothes pressed and ready to wear, that's what I provide. My husband wants his meals cooked and ready to eat, that's what I provide. So what if I cook Ragu with a little extra garlic I chopped by myself. What matter is, the Bolognese sauce is perfect. So, what if somebody else iron my clothes, is that a sin? :) So, if you want your house clean, do not watch how your husband does it, just enjoy the clean tiles after. 


A marriage is not a smooth-sailing journey on a calm ocean, enjoy the sail and let's work as a team all the time to keep the ship afloat because the marriage-ship has no destination to anchor.