get out judging voice!

do you have voices inside your head? I do. it's my own voice (i think) and it always judges. my devil advocate? perhaps. i'm not a fan. Seriously, get out! Originated from my upbringing? couldn't blame the past, could i? But I find it quite tiring to be judging people and situations all the time.  it's not cool and it's not easy to put a break on it. i need to be in a blank state of mind, which is impossible considering that me still breathing. but does this inflict only myself or it breeds in everybody? is this the voice of reason. it stops me from feeling excitement to the max. it puzzles me when people are excited by petty matters or sympathized over minor mishaps or misfortunes. i simply don't. it's hard for me to find anything funny or be amused about anything. My haha moments are mostly my sarcastic reactions, except when Ricky Gervais and Chris Rock are concerned, and I don't like this feeling. I want to be able to laugh to simple jokes. Well i did yesterday when my hubby cleverly said "don't put words in my mouth, put food!". My smiles are so expensive and if I were to live by my smile, I'd be dead broke by now. I keep telling myself to be humble be humble be humble but at the same time this humongous pride in me gets in the way. where do i get this huge pride anyways? pride for sale! pride for sale! any buyer email me. starting today i pledge to bend myself towards humility,maybe that's the way to be more appreciative of the world.